Outline Blues

I absolutely hate writing outlines. Over the years, though, I've learned that they are a necessary evil. Without them, your story can meander off in all directions and you can end up writing the same part twice or leaving out crucial plot development. You can also call the same person three different names by mistake. That is why detailed character sketches are also important. Character sketches are less hateful because you get to write out the little quirks and snips about your characters that you need to know to write them effectively, but that no one else will ever see. Outlines, on the other hand, only make me want to start writing the actual chapters.

As a result, I dart back and forth between my outline and another open file where I scratch out ideas and scenes that I don't want to forget while I'm trying to map out the story. The outline for Plans ended up being 43 pages long and took me almost a month and a half to write. I'm sure it wouldn't have taken as long if I wasn't so damn flighty when it comes to this part.

Plans is on hold until I can get the beta copies printed, and I've resolved not to read it through again until I get those copies and can read it along with my readers. This is partly as a show of solidarity for their pain, but more so because I've read it so many times I've started to imagine I've used the same phrase seven or eight times when I really only used it once. It's time to take a step back and let it breathe for a couple of weeks, no matter how much I adore my little sprites.

Still Kicking Around...

This is what a massive overhaul of an old idea for a story that you think you might be able to salvage looks like. Isn't that awesome?

Got some really bad news about one of my cats today so I haven't been able to do any actual thinking. Instead, I just keep going through this old manuscriptlet and gutting it of whatever good ideas were inside. There are a couple (they're in the highlighted bits).

A friend's friend who is also a writer got extremely lucky today. He shared a cab with a random guy and forgot his lunchbox when he left. Inside the lunchbox, among other things, was a notebook containing all his ideas and notes. Because sometimes things really do work out all right, my friend was looking on Craig's List and happened to see a post from the guy who found the lunchbox and wanted to return it to him. Who says there aren't any good people in the Windy City?

Deja View

Now that I've finished editing Plans, I have informed my beta readers that they can look forward to being tormented by mid-July. Since I have to always be writing something or risk losing my mind, I'm working on getting things together for a new project. Since it took me between six and eight weeks to write the outline and do some of the research for Plans, I don't expect to actually get down to writing on this one until after I've submitted the first one to some indie publishers or made a decision about self-publishing.

Now I'm writing (re-writing?) the outline for the new story and am already getting obsessed with it. This is actually a story I wrote most of and then abandoned and covered with sand. I've gutted it, rewritten the ideas for most of it and reworked MFC so much that I'm actually having trouble writing her because she's pretty far from any of my other female characters, personality wise. Also changed MMC a little and giving SMC2 a much bigger and more ambiguous role.

It feels so huge and overwhelming, but at the same time it's exciting. This is the same way I felt when I was mapping out Plans. Now I love my characters so much that I actually dream about them and have their character sketches in my work locker, courtesy of a good friend. It's really for the best that I don't take a break between stories. Studies show that idle neurons lead to reruns of Flavor of Love, you know. *shudder*

Beta Female

Well, that's that. I finally finished the last of my edits of the alpha draft of the story. I can't help but feel a little anticlimactic, yet at the same time I'm nervous because as soon as I get enough cash together, I'm going to print out eight copies and send them to my beta readers along with the supplemental booklet for the final spin through the rock tumbler.

Since they're my friends, I know that they're not going to be cruel in their criticism or say anything hurtful but I can't get over this "stage fright"-like feeling in the pit of my stomach. I want them to like it, but I want them to honestly tell me if they don't like it because then I can more accurately judge the marketability of it and hopefully change it for the better. Also, I want to be able to tell potential publishers/agents that I'm not the only one who's gone over it with a fine tooth comb: I've had a group of people from ages 23-40, including both men and women, from all walks of life (Mary Kay consultant, video game developer, single mom, Starbucks manager, waitress, factory office worker, veterinary technician) go through it and they have deemed it acceptable. Or at least I hope they will.

I feel kind of nauseous.

Also seriously looking into an actual, professional website that will serve as an attempt to create an online presence for myself in the event I end up self-publishing. Even if I don't, I think potential publishers or bookstores that might stock my book would be encouraged to take a chance on someone who is an intelligent adult who's focused on her work (Please God don't let them find my Livejournal). A friend gave me a line on an inexpensive but good web hosting service and I have another friend who codes websites for "fun." Php, SQL, Rubyonrails...these things mean nothing to me. Last but not least, I'm putting feelers out to actual designers for graphics. This is exhausting. And I don't even know if this story's going to go anywhere yet.

On a completely unrelated topic that makes me so giddy I'm kind of lightheaded --- there is a possibility, however slim, that The George Romero might read Minor Side Effects. I'm not getting my hopes up, though.

Fruit of One's Labor?

I was having one of those moments this morning where you wonder if it's all worth it. I'm almost finished with alpha2 and was thinking about getting the beta copies printed, sending them out to beta readers, getting the feedback (which may or may not be terrifying), re-editing and then sending it to publishers who may or may not tell me that I'm a hack and don't deserve to live, let alone write anything.

Mulberry trees, or one black mulberry tree in particular, play an important role in my story for two of the three main characters and is directly related to the third. They also tie in with the mythos of Pyramus and Thisbe, the fated lovers whose blood stained the berries of the mulberry tree after their double suicide.

Just now I went outside to take the recycling to the bin and discovered an enormous black mulberry tree in the alley of my apartment's property. I picked a whole bowl of them and am eating them while I edit. Sometimes I get the feeling something is trying to tell me something.

More Rambling

I was thinking more about the self-publishing route and wondering if I'm too self conscious and/or lazy for this. Then something hit me like an overused simile. Indie publishing companies. They've got enough cred to make people think I didn't just slap a pile of words on some paper and call it a novel, but are still small enough to let me have some control over what I'm writing as long as I'm selling. And, as I said in the other post, I will sell. Even if it means I'll have to walk from bookstore to bookstore in the cold Chicago night carrying a satchel of my books.

Which brings me to the question: if the story's still in beta and the small press says it'll take them at least 8 weeks to reply to a query, should I query now with the aside that it is being edited by outside parties and will be done by X date or wait until it is done and possibly miss the submission window? Hm.

No, I Am Not Dead

I'm just resting without the internet.
As an added bonus, here is a picture of the tragicomedy that is currently passing for an office in my apartment. Yes, it IS a corner of my bedroom! You get the cookie.

On the plus side, it has given me a lot of time to finish the first alpha edit of the story and move on to the second alpha reading, in which I go through it and find all the little plot points and inconsistencies that would make someone reading it go "what?"

Other than that, not much else going on in the world of the aspiring hack. I had Kinko's bind up my alpha2 copy so I can read it, then I went back and had them bind up all my old notes and background stuff for posterity. It's much easier to find things this way. I think I'll start doing it for all my stuff.

Have also been considering the possibility of serious self-publishing. I love the idea of being able to have complete control over my own work, but I do not love the idea of having to pimp myself out. I am a very poor saleswoman. However, I could see myself going to SPX and Ladyfest and all those street fairs to sell my wares. I might even be able to convince some local merchants to sell my books on consignment for a trial run. It seems attractive when I consider that an agent or big publisher might make me change my work.

In the end, I do not write these things because I want to become famous. I have a decent job that I don't hate going to in the morning. All I want is for people to read my stories and be entertained, even if it's just for a few hours. Even if they forget about it later. I really just like making people happy. *teary*

Text from an actual review of one of my stories:
I thought that the beauty-drug-gone-wrong was a cool take on the zombie genre. This book was well put together and easy to read. Not a lot of zombie-fighting action or gore, but a really good story nonetheless. If you're a fan of zombie stories, I recommend picking this book up. The author is able to tell a good story about--let's face it--some rather cheesy subject matter, and instead of turning out like a goofy B-movie, it turns out as a well-written story.